On occasion I am overcome with episodes of extreme clarity. It can happen anywhere- driving to work or standing in the 104 degree Fahrenheit shower water.  One such episode has recently come and gone. The realization was that for as much as I dearly love my chosen field of chemistry for the employment and multitude of Aha! moments it has given me, I am faced with the stark reality: Some of the most profound and pernicious a**h***s I have ever known have been fellow chemists. Shocking, isn’t it?

For the love of God, man, can it be true? Is this too dark of a subject to blog about? Can we talk about this? Maybe it is a dirty little professional secret that should be kept under wraps.  Maybe I am some sort of chaotic attractor that funnels these people into my local space?  Seems unlikely.  It’s probably just a proximity effect.  If I took up grocery bagging, the same realization would probably happen. 

How did people deal with a**h***s like this 40,000 years ago? If the troublesome Neanderthal who lived a few klicks up Olduvai Creek got out of control, we’d settle it the caveman way. With a club or that newfangled imported Folsom point. Today we are expected to use our words.  Well, here are some words- Damn and blast!

Some lab jerks are petulant turds who, if it weren’t for a wealthy grandmother, might be managing a Denny’s on the interstate. Others are true alpha males- tall, articulate, athletic, and sycophantic. These characters are especially loathesome.  It has been my experience that many sycophants have no immunity to the enchantments of other sycophants. Some cluster and form cells. Others collect clients or something like courtiers– grinning, pasty-faced trolls who lock onto the teat.  It is most distasteful.

(*End of Scorn Routine*)