Note:  The rest of you please go about your business. This is a private letter  to Larry King.

Hey old buddy,

I heard that you was getting ready for yer, what, eighth deevorce? Dude, you really need to think about puttin’ that horse out to pasture. I can understand one or two. Hell, I been deevorced myself. But eight? Sssshoot! It only takes two points to make a straight line. Ain’t it gettin’ a might pricey? Don’cha ever wanna retire from that damned station in Alanta?

Here is what ya do. Ya go into yer back yard and dig up some of that money ya got buried back there and ya git yerself a condo and a dog.  A fella like you prob’ly needs a mastiff or some other big dog. Whatever. The dog will love ya no matter who else you may be fooling around with that month. Catch my drift? Git my meanin’?

Okay then. ‘Nuff said.

Your pal,

Th’ Gaussling