One way to ruin your mashed potatoes is to boil them and then “mash” them with a food processor. This will disrupt the starch bodies and afford a thick, snotty paste suitable for gluing GOP posters to utility poles.

Here is a nice way to prepare mashed potatoes. While a pot with a quart and a half of water is coming to boil, peel and cube 4 Russett potatoes. Peel and cube a yam and combine the whole mass of cubed tubers into the pot, bring to a low boil and cover.  Yukon Gold potatoes are even better. If you’re feeling less adventuresome, use half a yam. Enjoy a can of Old Chub or a suitable substitute during the process.

After 20 minutes of reflux, test for softness.  The potatoes should still be slightly firm, but not solid.  The yams will disintegrate first if refluxed too long.

Carefully drain the hot water and add a quarter stick of butter and a half cup of milk. Using a hand held mixer or a hand held masher, mash the light orange mixture to the desired consistancy, adding more milk or cream as needed.  Consider what pleasure there might be in a coarse consistancy.

Transfer to a large bowl and nestle a pat of butter in the top. To the mound of potatoes sprinkle a light dusting of Hungarian Paprika and serve. Enjoy.