May 7, 2012. Guapo, Arizona.  Imagine gliding down the steel tracks at 85 mph on your personal 2-wheel, self-balancing transport. Officials from Thrombax Transport and Burlington Northern San Simeon met at Pultroon University and negotiated an agreement to develop high speed personal rail for owners of the Segway two-wheeled personal transport. An upgrade to be made available will allow operators of two-wheel self-balancing tranport to mate their vehicles to standard gauge rail and operate on the rail system.

The new transportation mode will be limited to the northern tier of states initially.  It is anticipated that speeds of 120 mph along the rail will be possible eventually, making ground transit across the more tiresome flyover states tolerable.

According to a paper published by Pultroon University assistant adjunct Professor Harman van Hemp in the Japanese journal Bull. Shitsu Jpn, 2010, 19, 20134, the theoretical maximum speed of a 2-wheeled self-balancing vehicle is limited by lateral instability problems associated with the inner rim of the rail wheel. Prof van Hemp has devised an aerodynamic stabilizing control surface built into the fire retardant trousers of the operator. The stabilizer is actuated by a swing of the operators hip. Wind tunnel testing at Pultroon University has shown that the device is effective in subsonic flows up to a Mach number of 0.67.  While the technology is being refined by Thrombax, the all important line of merchandising and apparel is being subcontracted.

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